Therapy. To me the word invokes daydreams of luxuriating, of being pampered, generally feeling relaxed and happy. Therapy in fact, is something altogether different. The therapy that most people are referring to, when they mention therapy, is actually a working relationship with a specific structure and framework, with a therapist. Is it fun? Not always. is it relaxing? Not always. Is it like when you go for a therapeutic massage? Absolutely not. So why do we do it? I would say to feel better. This can involve working through all sorts of issues. For me it’s about growth, gathering tools and feeling better.
I’m not currently in therapy because I have too much other stuff going on. Terrible excuse I know and I can hear mama’s voice in my head telling me that I am not making myself a priority. She’s right of course, and I do have plans to go back. What actually stopped me was one of my kids getting sick and needing to be hospitalised and then Randy (the stroke) turning up two weeks after that. Anyway then it was Christmas etc and now here we are. I was going to therapy for help. Help with different parts of my life.
At that first session, my therapist asked me what he could do for me. I looked at him and thought about it, and I repeated the question back to him. “I don’t know, what can you do for me?” I was genuine. I wasn’t being salty as the fruits call it 😉 This was after some discussion of course. I felt like he was confused as to why I was there, or something, at the time. I guess for a moment, I was confused too. I know that some things you just have do for yourself, but why was I there. What kind of help did I need? What did I need help with? I guess I needed someone to talk things through with, to bounce ideas off, to go over things with me. To give me some tools. I think what he meant what my goals for therapy were. I think for me, I lost confidence in myself, or my confidence in my own abilities was lacking. I know a lot of people aren’t keen on the idea of therapy, seeing it as cliche etc. For me its one of a complement of ways to stay mentally healthy. He gave me a piece of paper to bring home. It had a list of areas of my life on it. He asked me to go through each area and write down where I thought I was currently in that area, and then where I would like to be or what I would like to change. He like mama, and various medical specialists all agreed that I need to take care of me. I’m getting there. Slowly. xo