Why is it that there are times I seem insistent on reinventing the wheel. it’s not like I don’t already have my own perfectly wonderful ways of doing things. It’s not that I don’t already tweak and evaluate my own personal methods of doing things. There are times, even though I know better, that I listen to others opinions of what I ought to be doing to take care of myself. The biggest one is that I am meant to be making things easier on myself. Not do too much, or put too much pressure on myself. The thing is, although I do understand that I must take care of myself and my health and that the people who love me are giving me advice because they love me and care about me, it sometimes feels like making it easy for myself is actually far more stressful. At least it feels that way to me. My brain seems to be getting back into gear, although I’m informed I still talk far more slowly than before Randy (you remember Randy, the stroke of late 2018), that makes me feel excited because I can feel my thoughts flowing more freely and quickly.
I recently spent some money on an item I thought would help make a yearly task easier for me. In fact it was like going backwards and realising that I have come so far from a particular way of thinking, that even glancing backwards is just a full on reminder that my own particular way of completing said task is far more streamlined, effective and downright joyful. Don ‘t even mention that it’s more creative and realistic. It’s not been a total loss though and with some creativity and not using it as intended, it will still be useful. So that’s a positive. It doesn’t matter what the task is, the crux of the matter is that all the learning I’ve done along the way was real, IS real and valuable. I’ve learnt so much from others who have shared freely what they know, what they learned. They weren’t things that could just be copied, real change and learning and unlearning were, and continue to be necessary. It’s a way of living really and the learning will continue for life. Mistakes will be made. They are part of learning 🙂 Anyway sorry if I sound all cryptic, that was not intended. I just needed to remember to trust myself. To have confidence in myself and what I’m doing. xo
in an attempt to reach the same outcomes,
goals that don't matter to you,
so long as
it looks the same.
Same, same, sameness
The saying goes
imitation is the highest
Form of flattery.
What happened to the unique cloth,
from which the individual was cut.
The details that carry us,
Our own glorious,
imperfect and unpredictable journeys.